Tag: divorce

Divorce with Children – An Interview with Ben Stich

Divorce with Children – An Interview with Ben Stich

I was honored to be interviewed by Natalie Armstrong from the Marketing Resolution YouTube Channel on Tuesday from among the many stellar divorce and family mediators she knows. The interview was fun, brief, and hopefully informative for viewers interested in learning about family and divorce mediation. Check it out! Divorcing with Children: An Interview with Divorce Continue Reading »

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How Does Custody Work in Massachusetts?

How Does Custody Work in Massachusetts?

The word “custody” conjures ugly divisive images for many people. This post will clarify how child custody works in Massachusetts. Two Types of Custody In Massachusetts there is legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody involves a parent’s legal right to making decisions for their child. Physical custody relates to time the child lives with Continue Reading »

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Getting Divorced in Massachusetts with Dignity: Mediation and Collaborative Law

Getting Divorced in Massachusetts with Dignity: Mediation and Collaborative Law

I am excited to share a webinar certified divorce financial analyst Andrea McGrath and I facilitated about getting divorced in Massachusetts. Our focus: getting divorced with dignity! Getting Divorced in Massachusetts Webinar In this webinar we describe the different pathways to getting divorced in Massachusetts. There are several uncontested approaches to divorce. We explained the Continue Reading »

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Your Kids and Divorce: Mediating a Child-First Divorce

Your Kids and Divorce: Mediating a Child-First Divorce

What do kids and divorce negotiations have to do with one another? A lot! (for parents). Thinking about your kids could be the best decision you’ll make in your divorce negotiation. Your Kids’ Shoes I recently wrapped up a mediation that was a model child-centered divorce. The parents weren’t buddies. They didn’t spend a lot Continue Reading »

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What is a Mediator? Mediation Questions Answered on the Inside Divorce Podcast

What is a Mediator? Mediation Questions Answered on the Inside Divorce Podcast

I had a blast recently being interviewed by divorce attorney Cynthia Auckly-Barbuto of the Law Firm of Grossman & Associates in Newton, MA. Cynthia hosted an edition of their Inside Divorce Podcast. We spent a half hour answering questions like “What is a mediator?” and “How can mediation help parents in high conflict situations divorce?” Click to hear Ben Continue Reading »

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How to Divorce in Massachusetts Using Mediation: An Interview on WCRN

How to Divorce in Massachusetts Using Mediation: An Interview on WCRN

I had the great fortune to be interviewed by Attorney Allen Margulis of the Total Counselor Show on WCRN on July 31st about how to divorce in Massachusetts. During the hour-long interview we discussed the different ways to get divorced in Massachusetts, with a particularly emphasis on divorce mediation. I shared one of my favorite Continue Reading »

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Mediators Can Help HIGH Conflict: Fact or Fiction?

Mediators Can Help HIGH Conflict: Fact or Fiction?

People tell me “I want to refer someone to you but they are really high conflict so there’s no way mediation could work for them.” Then, I take a deep breathe, resist the urge to say something like “that doesn’t make sense!” and ask them to tell me about the situation. FICTION: Mediators only works for Continue Reading »

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Dealing With Divorce Can Be Easier When You Think Like a Kindergartener

Dealing With Divorce Can Be Easier When You Think Like a Kindergartener

I am always trying to find a unique twist for my posts. Something that sets my ideas apart. Thinking about this post, common expressions I hear from parents in mediation kept running through my mind. Statements like: He’s so demanding. She’s so controlling. He’s rude. She’s bossy. Hmmm…I wonder what mind-blowing advice I could provide Continue Reading »

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Is All Fair in Love and War? Lessons for Marriages, Divorce, and Separation Agreements

Is All Fair in Love and War? Lessons for Marriages, Divorce, and Separation Agreements

Common separation agreement ideas: “We’ll just split things down the middle. That’s just the fair thing to do.” “We just want to be fair so we’ll add it all up and split it 50/50.” These are reasonable ideas. But does that mean they are “fair?” What Do You Mean? Of Course it Does! Does fairness Continue Reading »

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Ping-Pong Arguments: Two Tips for Dealing with Family Conflict Inspired by the Divorce Mediation Process

Ping-Pong Arguments: Two Tips for Dealing with Family Conflict Inspired by the Divorce Mediation Process

There are some great concepts that mediators use in the mediation process that can be applied right at home. Let’s break down mediator jargon to make it useful for dealing with family conflict. My way or the highway doesn’t work well in the divorce mediation process, and it won’t in your home either… Positions: Many Continue Reading »

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Should I Get A Divorce? Why Talking About Your Reasons For Divorce Might Be A Game Changer

Should I Get A Divorce? Why Talking About Your Reasons For Divorce Might Be A Game Changer

Sometimes the hardest conversations, the ones we dread the most, provide the greatest opportunity for growth and change in a relationship. I thought about this after chatting with a friend about a tough time with her husband. For her, the “D” word changed everything. That’s right. I’m talking about Divorce. What a loaded word! It Continue Reading »

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Hate Losing Arguments? 3 Conflict Mediation Steps to Improve Marriage Communication and Win!

Hate Losing Arguments? 3 Conflict Mediation Steps to Improve Marriage Communication and Win!

I had a divorce mediation client who loved to win. He loved to win in basketball, business, and investments. His success in life was a result of his competitive nature, he believed. His wife hated his competitive nature. She thought it was short-sighted and interfered with their communication and decision-making. Losing Marriage Arguments They both Continue Reading »

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Hate Your Ex More Than You Love Your Kids? Children of Divorce

Hate Your Ex More Than You Love Your Kids? Children of Divorce

There is a family judge in Massachusetts who makes decisions for children of divorce every day. She has a sign hanging on her door that reads: Do You Hate Your Ex More Than You Love Your Kids? Provocative question, right? You might be thinking “of course I don’t — that’s just ridiculous!” Maybe you are Continue Reading »

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Relationship Issues Stressing You Out? 3 Tips to Improve Marriage Problems Without a Marriage Counselor

Relationship Issues Stressing You Out? 3 Tips to Improve Marriage Problems Without a Marriage Counselor

“Why do I NEED to consider her point of view after all the marriage problems we’ve had, and the way she’s treated me?” A divorce mediation client angrily asked this of me after I made a comment suggesting the possibility that he might need to consider his wife’s perspective. I was trying to suggest that Continue Reading »

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Co-Parenting After Divorce When You Hate Your Ex But Love Your Kids

Co-Parenting After Divorce When You Hate Your Ex But Love Your Kids

A few weeks ago a divorce mediation client was venting frustration in a private session about certain aspects of child support and co-parenting after divorce. She was convinced that her husband would be irresponsible with the money and spend more of it on himself than the kids. To prove her point she pointed out that Continue Reading »

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Mediation For Divorce In Mass: Be Warned Against Destructive Divorce Marketing!

Mediation For Divorce In Mass: Be Warned Against Destructive Divorce Marketing!

While I was at the gym today listening to my favorite sports radio station I heard a commercial about divorce in Massachusetts. It made me stop in my tracks. Literally. I mean it. I must have looked ridiculous. I just stood where I was listening to my headphones. The advertiser, a local law group, directed Continue Reading »

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Dealing With Marriage Communication and Relationship Issues? Stay Out of the Weeds

Dealing With Marriage Communication and Relationship Issues? Stay Out of the Weeds

It is often said that the “devil is in the details” and certainly this is often sage communication advice. Other times, especially during arguments, divorce mediation, marriage communication, and conflict in general, I would argue that the “devil IS the details.” Devilish Hypocrisy Consider these points of conflict that I have recently heard during mediations: Continue Reading »

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Lessons Learned Providing Mediations: Ben’s Mediation Blog

Lessons Learned Providing Mediations: Ben’s Mediation Blog

I am a family and divorce mediator.  When I say I love mediations to people I often get one of the following responses: Really? (Translation: why in the world would you want to do that?), or… Really? (Translation: I have no idea what that is but I’ll play along), or.. Really? (Translation: my aunt’s sister’s next Continue Reading »

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