Marriage Mediation: How To Save Your Marriage With the Help of a Marriage Mediator

couple holding hands at sunset

Marriage is challenging and requires difficult conversations and difficult decisions.  I help couples who want to remain married solve issues that are causing stress in the marriage. I also help couples figure out if they want to stay married. 

During marital mediation, I can help you deal with specific problems, improve your communication with one another, and move forward with your lives.

Marital mediation is different than counseling because unlike therapy, mediation does NOT explore deep personal issues, address mental health diagnoses, discuss family backgrounds, or provide treatment.

Marital mediation helps you overcome difficulties in your marriage without having to delve in to the past and open up old wounds.

Marriage Mediation Example: The Vacation House

  • Sue loves the vacation house in Florida. It drives David nuts that they are paying taxes and upkeep on a house they use at best for three months a year. Plus, David wants to spend the winters skiing. Sue despises skiing. This issue has been a bone of contention for years but now that the kids are out of the house the dispute has reached a boiling point. The issue impacts their time, their finances, and their use of their hard-earned retirement years. They love each other dearly but this impasse runs the risk of irreparable damage to their marriage. They need a solution to this problem!

Marital Mediation Example: The Convalescing In-Law

  • Jeff’s father passed away last year and his mother is about to have hip surgery. He wants her to be able to convalesce in their guest bedroom. Marcia is fiercely private and is willing to help his mother but is unwilling to entertain the idea of having her stay with them. Jeff feels she is being heartless and Marcia feels he is being insensitive. They need a solution to this problem!

Marriage Mediation Example: Public or Private School Choice

  • Kamani wants to send their son to private school. Sonya is a public school teacher and insists that their son receive a public education. They argue endlessly about this.  Meanwhile, their son starts school in six months. They need a solution to this problem!

Marital Mediation Example: Having More Children

  • Julie and Stephanie are trying to decide if they should adopt or use IVF and have Julie carry a child. They have been in counseling in the past and they do not want to go back and rehash old wounds. Yet, they are stuck and unhappy, and time is ticking. They need a solution to this problem!

Marriage Mediation Example: Job Relocation

  • Jon just received a job offer that would bring a 50% raise and the type of job he has been working toward for years. The job would require him to relocate to the west coast. Gillian is happy for Jon but is dead-set against moving. Her family is here and she doesn’t want to uproot the kids. They need a solution to this problem!

A marriage mediator can help these couples talk about the issues constructively, uncover their underlying motivations, needs and desires, and brainstorm solutions that will work for both of them.

To learn more about the philosophy behind marital mediation click here.