Sometimes the hardest conversations, the ones we dread the most, provide the greatest opportunity for growth and change in a relationship. I thought about this after chatting with a friend about a tough time with her husband.
For her, the “D” word changed everything.
Continue Reading »
I had a divorce mediation client who loved to win.
He loved to win in basketball, business, and investments. His success in life was a result of his competitive nature, he believed.
His wife hated his Continue Reading »
They are in child custody mediation pushing themselves to improve their communication and co-parenting.
They are practicing some classic communication strategies. Reflecting back what they are hearing to make sure they understand one another. Continue Reading »
Understatement of the year: teenagers are tough to parent.
Tell me something you don’t know, right?
Some conventional ways parents deal with their intransigent teens involve arguing, punishing, ignoring, avoiding, and when push comes to shove, therapy.
I recently had success with an unconventional approach with two “heated” teenagers who Continue Reading »
Feeling Ignored? A MA Child Support Mediation Shows Why You Get Bewildered When Solutions to Family Problems Are Ignored…And What To Do About It!
A brilliant, selfless, creative, and irrefutable solution?
Like this one I heard while mediating child support payments:
“I really won’t care if you reduce the child support.”
How many parents paying child Continue Reading »
I know a lot of people like this (you know, like me). Unfortunately, this impatience causes problems.
Let’s take Jake, a student with whom I work. One of his teachers had a frustrating experience with him. The teacher asked him a question. Continue Reading »
Do You Hate Your Ex More Than You Love Your Kids?
Provocative question, right?
You might be thinking “of course I don’t — that’s just ridiculous!” Maybe you are even offended by Continue Reading »
I used to interview prospective staff for a residential treatment program before I became a family mediator. Whenever I asked them to describe qualities that would make them a good child care worker I was invariably told something like, “I love to help people and I’m a GREAT listener.”
Yet, when I would walk Continue Reading »
Need Marriage Help? Does Your Partner Ever Sound Like They Speak A Foreign Language? How To Handle Conflict Using Mediation Techniques
When you are arguing with someone do you ever feel like the other person is speaking a foreign language? That they don’t make any sense?
When this happens to me it is like listening to french over twenty years after studying it in high school — I recognize a few words but Continue Reading »
Relationship Issues Stressing You Out? 3 Tips to Improve Marriage Problems Without a Marriage Counselor
“Why do I NEED to consider her point of view??”
A divorce mediation client angrily asked this of me after I made a comment suggesting the possibility that he might need to consider his wife’s perspective.
I was trying to suggest that it might be helpful to understand Continue Reading »
“You’re NOT LISTENING to me!”
“You don’t GET it!
Sound familiar in your relationship?
If you or your partner have either uttered something like this out of sheer exasperation, or have had these barbs thrown in your face, you have to watch this video.
Check Continue Reading »
It’s Halloween time.
Two brothers are upset because one of the two pumpkins had to be thrown out. Brothers did what brothers do: argue. They both wanted the remaining pumpkin to be their pumpkin.
Their mother tried her best to encourage them to share, to reprimand them, and even threatened to take Continue Reading »
[box title="Guest Post" style="bubbles" box_color="#bbb896" title_color="#120d0d"]Rosalind Sedacca is a divorce & parenting coach, author, and expert in child-centered divorce.[/box]
Co-Parenting After Divorce
While moving through divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle, for many parents it is just the beginning of a new and equally intimidating challenge — co-parenting your children. Hats Continue Reading »
So, I am one of those cheesy people that draws meaning from the original classic sci-fi Star Wars trilogy. I know it is mostly over-simplified messages packaged with light sabers, cool characters, mystical forces, and huge spaceships. But what can I tell you? I love it.
Why am I telling you this? To Continue Reading »
A few weeks ago a divorce mediation client was venting frustration in a private session about certain aspects of child support and co-parenting after divorce. She was convinced that her husband would be irresponsible with the money and spend more of Continue Reading »
Ever get so frustrated in a disagreement because you just know that you are right? That your point of view seems so crystal clear?
Of course, you have. I certainly have!
It feels good to stick to your guns. Doing so may even occasionally work in your favor. Most of Continue Reading »
While I was at the gym today listening to my favorite sports radio station I heard a commercial about divorce in Massachusetts. It made me stop in my tracks.
I mean it. I must have looked ridiculous. I just stood where I was listening to Continue Reading »
I hear “I should…” all the time.
General Life Examples of I Should Decision Making:
I should go to the gym…(but watches more TV instead) I should go on a diet…(but digs in to her ice cream instead) I should save more money…(but shops online instead) I should call her and mend Continue Reading »
Family Communication, Parenting Help, and How to Stay Calm: Lessons Learned From a Sobbing Hysterical Tantrumming 6 Year Old
A “Hysterical” Miscommunication
A few weeks ago my son had an out of the ordinary temper tantrum – OK, he was flipping out — during a sleepover with his grandparents. They were calling me, I was calling them, and all the while he is yelling and crying in the background.
It was Continue Reading »
It is often said that the “devil is in the details” and certainly this is often sage communication advice. Other times, especially during arguments, divorce mediation, and conflict in general, I would argue that the “devil IS the details.”
Consider these points of conflict that I Continue Reading »
I recently followed a thread on a blog for school counselors. The thread began this way:
“Question: If an 8th grader tells you – as their counselor – that they are cutting, would you tell their parents? Please explain why or why not…I am interested to see the variety of Continue Reading »
“I just don’t understand why my brother won’t listen to me!”
I was asked this somewhat rhetorical question yesterday while explaining mediation to someone. This woman was frustrated by how her brother berated his son in front of other people. He refused to follow her advice. She felt he Continue Reading »
When I say this to people I often get one of the following responses:
Really? (Translation: why in the world would you want to do that?), or… Really? (Translation: I have no idea what that is but I’ll play along), or.. Really? (Translation: my aunt’s sister’s next Continue Reading »